Breaking The Circuit

So I had my first podcast interview with Jason on the Everyday Money Show, which BTW is a great new podcast that I highly recommend you check out! Here is my takeaway…

My Testimony

I’ve shared my testimony many times before in the rooms of recovery but this whole financial recovery is kinda a new thing for me.  Yeah, I shared it on the Dave Ramsey show, but a podcast interview is a bit more detailed. The questions swimming around in my head went something like:

• Do I talk about my bottom?
• Should I share the deep-rooted reasons I discovered why I fell into addiction?
• Will people want to hear that stuff?
• Is it too personal?
• Do I glaze over the fact that I got sober?
• Should I focus solely on my financial story?
• Do I share my faith?

Yeah, there’s an overactive mind up in here! I tend to over-analyze everything. While this can be a useful trait in my job, it can be unnecessary in my social life. Ugh! But alas and alack I am who I am for better or for worse and I’ve learned to embrace it.

I settled on my story is a testimony to how amazing God is and just how miraculous the transformation has been. That is worthy of a share.

Sure this is a personal finance blog and I was on a personal finance podcast but heck if I’m keeping it only to money, you’ll miss out on a lot of good stuff. Plus it’s my story to tell 🙂

Nervousness? Who Me?

I wrote a post over at ChooseFI where I talked about Terry Crew’s interview on the Tim Ferris podcast. Terry reflected on the nervousness he felt in his acting career and he came to the conclusion, “if you care, you’re going to be nervous.”

Yep, I got nervous. Yep, I care. And if the day comes when I’m not nervous anymore, I need to reevaluate why I’m doing this.

Fortunately, podcasting is not live so things can be edited out. Jason set me at ease from the start by letting me know that if I didn’t like how something came out, I could stop and say it again. #powerofediting

Going Deep

While I was raw and honest about the dark and lonely place of addiction, I didn’t go too deep into why I believe I fell so hard. Do people want to hear this? Probably. People like to stare at car crashes.

And as I reflect back on this interview and feel I left the most crucial part of my story out, I wonder who it’s really crucial for. It was for me.  But is it crucial for you to know?

In recovery, I uncovered the wounds of my past and it hurt. I cried a lot. Anger rose to the surface.  I pushed through because it was healing I was after and not just for me but for all involved. My entire family found healing in my recovery.

I was able to reconcile with my past and find a better future.

Do I have to reveal it all? Probably not and certainly not if it will cause further hurt to others who may hear/read it.

The Whole Picture

My whole story is about the little girl who was too insecure to believe she could do anything successfully. This little girl who thought the whole world received a manual to life and she was passed by. The girl who believed a great many false things for many years and learned to hide behind a drink, a drug, a relationship or a pretty face.

You can’t tell part of my story (success with money) without telling the backdrop. I want to preface this by saying my entire past was not bad. However, here is the negative circuit that became evident to me upon getting sober.

1. I believed lies about myself
2. I drank/drug to escape
3. I sought negative attention
4. I made the outside look good
5. Rinse
6. Repeat

Circuit Breaker

1. I fell so hard something had to give
2. I surrendered and asked for help
3. I recognized God is bigger than me
4. The lies were exposed
5. Truth became the new norm
6. Relationships took a healthy turn
7. Money problems were faced
8. My Debt was paid off
9. Wealth is being built

Plain and simple. Solid truth. I couldn’t have done it alone. Christ is my Savior.

It’s no longer about me.

Now it’s about you and how I can help.