Recovering Women Wealth

Sober Women Managing Money & Mental Wealth

Archives for October 2018

The Benefits of Walking to Work

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I completed my debt pay off journey on December 29, 2017.  Just like my sobriety date, I’ll never forget it.  I lived with my parents during the final 15 months and once the debt was gone, I started making plans of where I’d live next. The whole world was my oyster and so I had choices. I ultimately chose to live where I could walk to work.

Clean Slates & Strategies

My parents are awesome and encouraged me to stay with them through the winter months to save some more dough. I acquiesced to their suggestion and by not being in a hurry to move out, I was able to:

  1. Build up my emergency fund to a sizable amount (something I managed to not have for the first 44 years of my life).
  2. Buy some stuff for my new apartment.
  3. Celebrate my debt pay off by attending CampFI Mid-Atlantic.
  4. Enjoy more time with my parents.

When I started looking for apartments I knew one of my goals was to lessen my commute time to work. You see while living with Mom & Dad, I had a 45-60 minute commute one way to work. I took advantage of that time by listening to podcasts but I was ready to be done with the loooong commute.

When you have a clean slate a whole world of choices opens up to you. 

Apartment Hunting

I pretty much knew where I wanted to live. I work in a nice area and a lot of the apartments close by are costly. But, there are several apartment complexes which are older and much cheaper. Additionally, these older/cheaper ones happen to be the closest to my office.

Although I knew this is what I wanted, I decided to visit several other apartments for comparison.

I looked at a hip studio apartment with hardwood floors in an ultra-hip part of town. It was great except it was still a 30-minute drive to work. Hip was not worth the hassle.

I visited a spacious apartment with tons of closet space that was close to my parents. It was a bit cheaper and definitely roomier than the units close my office. However, I decided I didn’t need bigger and paying a bit more to be closer to work was going to be cheaper in the long run.

The Decision

I decided on what I knew from the beginning and signed the lease for an apartment which is about 3 blocks from my office.

There were multiple units to choose from and here’s where the tougher decision came in. They were remodeling 4 units with new everything. With an older apartment building, having a new unit was attractive. Of course, this came at a higher price.

It was still within my price range which would allow me to hit my savings goals. However, I decided upon the amount I’d be willing to pay for a newer unit and made an offer. Being that I was the first one looking at the newly remodeled units, they accepted my offer and the deal was sealed!

I moved in on May 1, 2018, and you can read all about the furnishing of my little apartment in this article.

Walking to Work

My apartment is incredibly close to work, but it’s also close to these things which I value:

  • Trader Joe’s
  • My gym
  • The Metroparks
  • Beautiful rolling streets with bike lanes

#1mileradius

My day starts out sans stress due to the proximity of digs. I’m not the only one who thinks walking (or biking) to work is a good idea. Here are some links to other articles on this topic:

Now my commute to work is literally 5 minutes…and I get to walk it. Seriously, how lovely is that? Furthermore, I walk home for lunch. Who doesn’t need to get more steps and fresh air in their day??

That being said, I want to break down the different benefits of walking to work. If you are ever in a position to make this choice, you’ll know what you have to gain.

Environmentally-Friendly

When we use our feet to get us somewhere we are putting out fewer pollutants into the environment. This one is pretty basic.

Love and respect the earth.

Health

My walk is short (5 minutes) but if you count the time to work, home for lunch, back to the office after lunch, and back home, that is 20 minutes of walking. When you sit at a desk most of the day, the movement is a welcome reprieve. No doubt my walking commute is contributing to my health but being that my commute is short, I still exercise in other ways.

I encourage people who may have a longer walking or biking commute to consider it. Think of it this way, the longer you commute is on foot or pedal, the more likelihood you have of being able to kill two birds with one stone.  Commute to work = exercise = win.

I always loved this quote by the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, “you can either take the time to exercise when you are young or take the time to be sick when you are old.” Yeah, I know there are always outliers and exceptions, but I believe wholeheartedly in the correlation between exercise and health.

Less Aggravating

I used to drive 45-60 minutes to work each way. The early part of the drive was peaceful and scenic; however, as I approached the office I had to contend with rush hour traffic and construction. This part of the commute was anything but peaceful.

Now, I walk out my apartment and onto the busy street down three blocks to my office. I feel the fresh air in my face and get the blood flowing in my veins. It’s peaceful. I arrive at work ready to take on the day.

Happiness Quotient

I’m able to be more productive in my mornings. By getting 1 &1/2 to 2 hours of my time back each day, I can now devote it to writing, reading and/or working out.  One could say, this blog is possible due to my choice to have a short commute to work.

Having more time to do the things I love makes me happy. I feel good about being able to walk or bike most places. I enjoy my neighborhood more and meet new people.

I had some family and friends who were concerned that by living closer to work, I might end up working longer hours. So far that has not been the case.

Maybe my blog is a welcome distraction.

Perhaps I look forward to leaving work at a decent time because I don’t have to contend with traffic.

Maybe, just maybe I’m finding balance. Either way, I’m happier.

Cost Reducing

I’ve calculated that I am saving $75 – $100 a month on gas by walking to work and living close to the things I value. That turns in $900 – $1,200 a year which gets invested. At a 7% rate of return, I can turn that into ~$22,823 – $30,431 in 15 years. Woah!

Furthermore, by less wear and tear on my car, I can keep it longer. My current 2008 Saturn with high mileage is still going strong. I see no reason that I won’t be able to keep it a few years longer.

Love this car!

I have enough money in a savings account for my next car purchase but I will prolong until it’s a necessity. I’m earning an APY of 1.9% on that money so it’s really not much growth but it’s something.

If you are saving for a car and can walk to work, you should be able to truncate the time to your savings goal.

Capacity for Road Trips

Being that I don’t spend 2 hours every day in my car, I’m inclined to say yes to more road trips. I’ve said it before that you tend to appreciate things more when you do them less.

This past weekend, I was able to make a road trip to Toledo, Ohio which is about 2 hours west of me (Cleveland). I was able to spend some quality time with Andrea & her husband, Jason, from Saving Joyfully.  If you haven’t checked out her blog yet, I recommend you do. I gain a lot of inspiration from her…and her joy is, um, contagious.

Ms. Fiology & Saving Joyfully meet-up 1.0

Furthermore, I was able to enjoy a spectacular sunrise over an architecturally beautiful bridge on my way home from Toledo the next morning:

Yeah, I took these when driving but only ‘cus there were no other cars around 😉

Considering a visit to beautiful Ohio yet? <3

Final Thoughts

My assessment is that having a shorter radius to all the things you value is life changing. Right now, I don’t think it’s feasible to be without a car completely because of spaced out family members and friends. However, I certainly do like going days without needing to drive my car.

Are you saving for a car? Walking to work could certainly curtail the savings time. Wouldn’t it be nice to pay cash for your next car? For me, I can honestly say, I’ll never have another car payment again if I can help it.

I get it, reading a blog post about a woman (who you may have or have not met) re-arranging her life to be able to walk to work can seem out of reach. We get attached to our homes and relocating is hard work.

However, I challenge you to think a bit outside the comfort box. What would your ideal life look like if you could create it? By eliminating frustrations (like traffic) we can free up more time to be on purpose, make the world a better place, and help people. I’m pretty sure no one’s purpose is to spend agonizing time stuck in traffic.

Walking to work has had an overall positive effect on my life. In my assessment, I’m healthier, friendlier to the environment, less aggravated, happier, wealthier, and more able to travel. That seems like a win/win/win/win/win/win.

Less Leads to More

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During the year and a half I lived with my folks to intensely pay off my debt, I learned to live on less. I made sacrifices and spent little money. Basically, I put most of my money into either my emergency fund or towards my debt. In this phase of my life, I learned that less leads to more.

Less Leads to More

Before moving into my parent’s house, I met with a woman who was keeping me financially accountable. We slashed some things off my budget and she pointed out some categories that seemed high. The categories which were slashed are:

  • Grocery
  • Hair
  • Skiing

Grocery

At the time my grocery budget included eating out and random stops for food. One of the best suggestions given to me was to take snack items in my car. At the time I was doing a lot of commuting to and from work. Furthermore, if I was hungry I’d stop for a snack. As you may know, those little dollars can add up when you do it every day.

Additionally, I learned to start shopping smarter. I like quality, organic foods so these items typically cost a little more. However, I’ve found that Aldi’s and Trader Joe’s have a good selection of organic foods at a fraction of the cost of some higher-end chains.

I also stopped going out to restaurants. Yeah, I left a little money in my budget for special occasions. You tend to appreciate things more when you do them less. 

Local Agriculture

Another tip I have for reducing your grocery budget is to take advantage of local agriculture. Of course, if you are able to do your own gardening that is where the real win comes in but for those of us living in apartments, there is another option.

I purchase a Consumer Supported Agriculture (CSA) annually. This means that for 20 weeks in the late spring, summer, and early fall I have fresh crops. In Cleveland, we have a phenomenal farm called the Refugee Response. I love supporting this farm as I’m directly supporting local refugees.

Furthermore, it’s a financial win. In 2018 I bought my 20 weeks of crops for $280 which comes out to $14 per week for a huge bag of vegetables. I’d never buy some of these vegetables on my own so it gets me eating new things and results in a lot of meal prepping.

Hair

Alright, so the Frugalwoods have everyone beat on this hack. They’ve mastered cutting each other’s hair at home and save a ton of money (and time) in the process. They even put out this article with tips on how to give home haircuts.

I’m all for that but as a single person, it’s not so easy. Here is the progression I’ve made in reducing my hair grooming costs:

First step

I used to spend close to $100 on my hair every three months with cuts and highlights. My first reduction came when I started having my hair done at the Aveda Brown Hair Institute. They train students and part of their training process is practicing. One can pay a fraction of the cost of a typical saloon to have a student to perform the duties.

I used this method for a year and was satisfied. There are teachers looking on so to minimize potential mistakes.

The one downside is that it takes longer. Depending on what you are getting done, you could be there for hours. Keep in mind these are students who are learning so they are slow. Furthermore, the teachers have to approve each step. However, they do make the experience relaxing.

If you don’t mind the extra time, this can be a good way to save costs on your hair.

Second Step

When I was moving in with my folks I decided I really wanted to get intense on all fronts. I was there for a season and a reason and wanted to reduce my spending habits. As a result of that decision, I stopped highlighting my hair altogether. Fortunately, the ombre look was in so growing out the color was fine.

Furthermore, I decided to get my haircuts at Great Clips.  I was growing my hair out so I only needed a basic trim every three months. It literally only takes 10 minutes. Great Clips cost for a haircut is typically around $15, but sometimes you can obtain coupons and/or deals. At times, I’ve paid as low as $7 for a haircut. Additionally, you don’t have to make an appointment.

Third Step

Once I got out of debt I decided I wanted to start highlighting my hair again. I realized I valued this but only if I could do it on the cheap. My solution is to get baby lights which is only a handful of highlights. It’s cheap and doesn’t require a lot of upkeep. In fact, I can stop at any time and it looks fine. I have a friend who has this skill and does it inexpensively.

Whenever I need a quick trim, I’ll still stop in at a Great Clips. I think the key to using an inexpensive salon is to have a simple hairstyle, which I do, as it is hard to mess that up.

Skiing

This was a big reduction as skiing is not a cheap hobby. While I lived with my folks, I decided to cut this completely out of my budget. I knew it was short term and I could survive a year or two without it.

Turns out I received some gifts to ski twice during that phase of my life which was lovely.

Now that I’m out of debt, I decided to add this back into my budget. I set aside a certain dollar amount each month that I use for skiing in the winter months. I’m always looking for hacks on reducing costs here and if I find them, I’ll write about them.

I’m planning my first real trip out west to ski in 2019. In an effort to reduce cost, my friend & I are flying to Utah on travel rewards miles. Additionally, we are staying in a hotel using travel reward miles. This leaves our only cost to be food, skiing and ground transportation.  You can bet your sweet little bippy that I’ll write a wrap up of our trip.

Sacrifice was not really sacrificing

In my intense phase of living with my folks, I said no to a lot of things. I tend to have tunnel vision and it served me well. I knew I wanted to focus on the main objective and in the end it paid off.

Initially, I calculated that it might take me two years from the date I moved in with my folks to pay off all of my debt. However, I was able to complete it in 15 months.

I noticed something huge in the process…I was no less happy. Actually, I found that my happiness increased. Why? Because I was eating an elephant that needed to be eaten. I was facing my debt and reducing it. A goal was set and I was crushing it.

It can be extremely satisfying to see something to completion.

Relationships and Experiences

I also found what I value in life. Surprise, it’s not things! It’s relationships and experiences. Neither of those really have to cost money.

The way to foster relationships is by devoting your time to them.

Think about it, when you are out with friends are you focused on the stuff that you are buying? I’m not. For me, it’s about the conversation and enjoyment. That can be done without spending a lot of money. All you need is a little creative thinking.

Experiences can come in many forms and for me, the most important part is the person I’m enjoying the experience with. I’ve decided I value skiing and am willing to work the cost into my budget. It’s a fun and healthy way to enjoy the winter months with my friends. However, there are a plethora of options to enjoy the beautiful world we live in for a low-cost. Some great examples are hiking and biking.

Final Thoughts

Paying off my debt has put me in a different place financially. I can choose what I value and still have room for a very high savings rate. Furthermore, I get to be generous. Those things in and of themselves are huge.

However, what I’m loving most is my shift in mindset. I recognize what I value in life and am thoughtful about what I spend money on. Furthermore, I really don’t want more stuff. As a matter of fact, I’m always getting rid of stuff and simplifying my life (future post). Moreover, I’ve really learned that the less I have the more abundant my life is…in every way. My conclusion is that less leads to more.

What do you value in life? What do you need less of? Finally, what do you need more of?

 

 

 

 

 

Negotiating for a Raise as a Woman

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Firstly, I think the title of this article should just be negotiating for a raise. Period. However, apparently, it’s a bit different for women. So, ladies, this one is for you! Would like some tips on how to negotiate for a raise as a woman? Yep, me too. Let’s explore this together

Sage Advice on Asking for a Raise

I worked in restaurants basically from the time I was 16 until I was 36 years old. At some point, I worked myself up in the ranks of serving to be a server in a fine dining restaurant. Furthermore, I became the assistant manager and wine sommelier of that fine dining restaurant.

Servers at this fine dining restaurant were paid a high hourly rate rather than being tipped. Members were charged a service fee but servers didn’t receive a commission. Occasionally, we’d receive additional tips but that was the outlier rather than the norm.

Early on in my career at this restaurant, I asked for a raise. I did it all wrong. How did I know I did it incorrectly? My boss was kind enough to turn it into a teaching moment:

Me: I am having a difficult time making ends meet on my current wage. Can I have a raise? 

My boss: Don’t come to me and ask for a raise because you need it. Come to me and ask for a raise because you deserve it. 

Photo by Faye Cornish on Unsplash

It was brilliant and sage advice. I’ve never forgotten it. My boss, of course, had a longer discussion with me on this topic but it all stemmed from that one sentence. That is the sentence I remember most. He basically told me to work hard and set myself apart and then come to ask for a raise.

Applying the Sage Advice

I took my boss’ advice literally. I set myself apart and worked hard. Eventually, I asked him if there was more work I could take on to earn more hours and hence increase my pay. He offered me to come in and weed the beautiful garden in the summer months. I did it.

Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

I also became the most conscientious and highly requested server. How? By treating the members with care and respect. Furthermore, I worked to make their fine dining experience phenomenal. We had an awesome chef so I knew that area was covered. All I had to do was be congenial, attentive to their requests, make recommendations based on my knowledge of our food and wine, and see their experience to completion.

Moreover, I tried to make my boss’ job easier by doing what he asked, showing up, and doing things he didn’t want to do. Eventually, I was promoted to assistant manager and finally the wine sommelier. And I received raises without asking for them.

The other nugget of wisdom this boss shared with me was in reference to comparison. I don’t remember how this conversation came up but I probably asked how much I was making in comparison to someone else.

My boss told me that what other people made was none of my business nor was it any of their business what I made. More sage advice.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt

As a result, I’ve always tried to focus on my work, my performance, and my salary.

Transition to the Business World

The above experience I shared had nothing to do with being a woman. I suspect he’s given the same advice to the male servers.

As I’ve moved away from restaurant work and into teaching and eventually business, I now recognize that I never negotiated for a salary. Why? I suspect it had something to do with my insecurities and lack of self-worth.

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, anyone?

Even after getting sober and landing my current job as an account manager, I came at it from the scarcity mindset. I was still in a lot of debt and felt like I needed them more than they needed me. Fortunately, my new boss saw potential in me. Furthermore, he talked to my former boss who gave me a rave review. I was hired and I accepted the salary that was offered.

Through the early years of this career, I was simultaneously tackling my debt. I employed career hacking and drove up my salary. I tried to make my boss’ job easier by doing what he asked, being fully present and doing things he didn’t like to do.

You know what? I got raises and bonuses without asking for them. Every time I did, I’d tithe off the top and put the rest towards my debt.

Eventually, my debt was paid off.

Shift in Mindset

I’ve found a pot o’ gold with a new mindset

Something happened as I paid off my debt. Well, to be honest, a lot of things happened in my life as a result of getting out of debt. The biggest thing is that my mindset has shifted from scarcity to abundance. I’m above the line and think about money differently. I know my value and am learning to place a higher value on my time.

Furthermore, I view money differently in my life and the life of our company. I’m continually looking at things from the angle of:

  • Will this be good for the company?
  • Will this help us grow?
  • What is the most efficient use of my time here?

Within the last year, I was asked if I preferred receiving bonuses or raises. In the past, I would have chosen a bonus because I always needed money. Now, I think about the long-term result and recognized that a raise will compound annually. I chose to receive raises.

Women and Negotiations

Now let’s drive down to the granular level of what occurs when women negotiate for a raise.  So far the career advice I’ve shared can be applied to anyone. Most of my raises were given to me without negotiations. I’ve had some amazing bosses.

However, there is a time and a place for negotiations. Perhaps I’ll need to negotiate in my future. Furthermore, the argument could be made that I’d be further ahead in my salary had I negotiated from the beginning. Maybe not.

It’s Risky

Photo from Amazon.com

Women who negotiate face a risk that men don’t. To go further into this I refer to Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer at FaceBook. She has studied it, lives it, works it, wrote a book about it, and created a community around it. Lean In is the name of her outstanding book and community. It is a book that I believe all management thinkers should read.

Sheryl Sandberg talks about how women who negotiate risk their reputation. When a woman negotiates hard, she can come across as bossy and aggressive which in turn can have a negative effect on her career.  However, men are often celebrated for the same negotiation tactics. A man can walk in and say I deserve a raise with little effect on his reputation.

According to Emily Amanatullah, a business school professor, research shows that managers want to work less with women who negotiate during an interview.

Ugh, so what do we do with that?

Sandberg talks about how we combat this bias by learning to negotiate communally. Sheryl is quoted as having said, “I want to be clear, I’m about to give advice that I don’t want to give because I don’t want these biases to exist. But the best way to get rid of these biases is to get women to negotiate well,”

If we can frame our requests around a greater good, we will have greater success.

Isn’t that basically what my boss at the fine dining restaurant told me? “Don’t come to me and ask for a raise because you need it. Come to me and ask for a raise because you deserve it.”  

How can we be deserving of a raise? We deserve raises by being of value to the company we work for. How can we be of value to the company we work for? We provide value by being efficient and driving up revenues. Furthermore, we need to know what’s expected of us, beat, track it, and report it.

Go here for some action tips on negotiations.

Final thoughts on asking for a raise as a woman

Through the years I’ve learned a thing or two about being a valuable employee. To be honest I never really looked at from the standpoint of being a woman. I naively thought if I provide value, I’ll be rewarded for it. In reality, that has happened.

I think my naivety and work ethic has paid off. My boss recently told me my stock is high at the company. Furthermore, we are on the same page with my salary goals. I plan to work for it.

The big difference in my work today is that I recognize my skill set and know where I’m of the most value for the company. I delegate tasks that will distract me from how I best serve the company. Furthermore, I’m embracing technological changes which provide efficiencies.

Finally, I recognize my value. If I’m ever in a position where I need to negotiate for my salary, I will. Now that I’ve read Lean In and know the possible risks I face as a negotiating woman, I’ll do it thoughtfully, communally, and respectfully.

Hopefully, my work will make a small impression towards changing the bias women face.

Now it’s your turn. Women, I’d love to hear from you – the good, the bad and the ugly. What have you experienced in your careers and negotiations? Do you have the salary you know you are worth? If yes, how’d you get there? If not, what are you doing to get there?

 

 

 

 

Brain Health, part 2 – Stressed Brains

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Welcome to part deux of my new series titled Brain Health. There is more to say about brains under stress! I’ve received enough encouragement to keep this series going, but as always I welcome all feedback, either in the comments or by contacting me. 🙂

Why am I writing a series on brain health on a personal finance blog? Well firstly, my PF blog is unique in that I intertwine stories of recovery. As someone who’s recovered from drug addiction and debt, I’ve got a lot to say about both.

Furthermore, this is a blog about getting better. Period.

Secondly, brain health affects everything we do…including money.

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