All my life, I’ve doubted myself. I’ve looked to other people to tell me what I should think and do. I’ve asked so many different people about my life, that I’m swirling in a sea of voices. But there’s one voice that I’ve drowned out, and that voice is mine.
The Role of a Mentor
It’s probably no surprise that when I was in the throes of addiction, my mentors (if you want to call them that) were not healthy people. The people I sought approval from did not have my best interest at heart. Nor did I.
Through my recovery, I’ve learned to surround myself with healthier people. Additionally, I found mentors who are worthy of that title.
Mentors can come in many forms – sponsors, pastors, counselors, teachers, authors, etc. I’ve had them all. I’m grateful for them. They guided me and offered advice when my brain was healing and the fog was lifting.
When I wasn’t really quite sure what a healthy response was, they taught me. Furthermore, through these mentors, I learned to form healthier relationships.
Life is an evolution and lately, I’ve been having a new epiphany about the role of a mentor.
Mentors are really good. However, I believe the most important job of a mentor is to encourage their mentee to think for themselves. And as a Christian, the most important job of a pastor is to encourage their sheep to learn to hear the voice of God for themselves.
For some reason, I’ve always been drawn to mentors who will talk and think for me.
It’s not their fault. It’s what I was looking for. And it was what I needed at one time.
Finding My Voice
However, tonight as one of my mentors was talking I realized something. I realized no one is really listening to me. Additionally, I realized it’s because I’m always asking what other people think of my decisions.
I’m not really sure I need that anymore.
Sure, there is a time and a place to bounce things off of the important people in our lives, but overall, I know what I need to do. Furthermore, I have access to the same God and hear clearly.
I realized I don’t really need the approval of others if I have the approval of God.
Moreover, I’ve realized I really have something to say. And now I have the confidence to say it.
When The Teacher is Ready, The Students Will Appear
There is an Asian proverb that says, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I am experiencing the converse of that proverb is also true. I’m ready to teach and I have students lining up. Women are asking for my guidance.
Let me repeat that to convince myself it’s real, women are actually asking for my guidance.
Am I going to sit on the sidelines and let fear prevent me from embracing this? The old Deanna would say yes, but Deanna 2.0 says heck no!
In my writing, I’m getting to know my true self. Maybe you, as the readers are seeing it? I don’t know because I cannot look in from your perspectives.
However, I am noticing something. Whenever I bare my heart and soul, you leave heartwarming comments or send me emotion-filled emails.
I don’t know if this blog is changing anyone’s life but I know it’s changing mine.
I’m finding my voice…finally.
Where Do We Go From Here?
So the thing I wrote vaguely about in my post on Monday, is that I feel led to go to Africa. I suspect I may be called to teach orphans there but first I must go on a short term mission trip and see if what’s on my heart is God’s will for my life.
I’ve told my family about it so I can write about it.
A lot will have to happen before this short term trip can occur but I’ve started to take action. Mainly, I’ve reached out to a pastor who leads short term mission trips to Uganda. I put the word out that I’m interested in going on one in 2020.
From there, it’s yet to be determined what will occurs after…
Teaching Here and Now
For now, this teacher (me!) has students here to teach and that is namely women who want to do better with their money.
I have a full-time day job which I enjoy a lot. Additionally, I blog on the side which brings me a lot of joy. As we’ve just established is allowing me to find my voice!
Now, though, I’m ready to guide some women in their financial endeavors.
How will I have time for all of this? Great question. As I’ll be working on some financial curriculums, I may have to reduce the number of posts I release per week. Currently, I post on Mondays and Thursdays and I’m religiously disciplined about it.
*EDIT: I’ve mostly paused Thursday posts for now.*
For now, I’m not changing anything about my blog but I will begin working on some financial curriculums geared towards women. Potentially, I see the possibility of teaching them at recovery and sober houses. I’m sure, as the curriculums begin to take shape, I’ll get more clarity of where to teach them.
As I think more seriously about teaching to women here, I think about the basics in financial literacy:
- Getting out of debt
- Planning for the future
As I meet more women in recovery, there seems to be no shortage of those who need to gain financial literacy. Being in the personal finance world, I see so many great teachers already out there and it’s easy to think, who the heck am I to teach on this stuff too? #ImposterSyndrome
And then I’m reminded that people are most apt to listen to someone who’s come out of the trenches themselves, dug their way out of debt, found freedom in budgeting, learned about investing, became mindful about spending, and is embracing a high savings rate. That’s me!! And I know I have nothing if I don’t give it away.
So I’m ready to take up this mantle as a teacher. After all, this is not a dress rehearsal.
I’m continually reminded that life is an evolution and we are either growing or dying. We need to be willing to take calculated risks and go for our dreams, our purpose, and our passion.
Who is not being helped when I’m not living on purpose? Seriously, if I’m meant to help others in this manner, then who am I to say no?
So I’m ready to guide women into getting their financial ducks in a row so that they too can have the capacity to dream, be on purpose, and find their passion.
How about you? Are you ready to take action in your life? Who is not being helped because you are not doing your purpose?